


Never Look Back

by Cassiopeia12727



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Abduction, Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Pre-Season/Series 01, Prompt Fic, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28304175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassiopeia12727/pseuds/Cassiopeia12727
Summary: It's November 27, 1973, and Teena Mulder reflects on the events leading up to that day, considering her future.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Never Look Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AweburnPhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AweburnPhoenix/gifts).



> This is a holiday gift for the wonderful [ AweburnPhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AweburnPhoenix/pseuds/AweburnPhoenix), who has betaed so many fics for me. One of her requests was a story with Teena as one of the characters. The idea intimidated me at first, since she is a controversial character. I was concerned about not being able to keep her in character. However, since I like a good challenge, I gave a Teena POV fic a try. I hope you like it.
> 
> Disclaimer: Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions own The X-Files and all associated characters. I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story or episodes, movies, and books referenced in it.

The day had come. Teena was stunned. She still couldn't believe that it had actually come to this; that Bill and Carl had really followed through with it, although things had started to lead up to the event a while ago. Each piece of the puzzle had slowly been falling into place, starting with her first encounter with Carl more than a decade prior.

  
  


Teena had always had a thing for reserved men in positions of authority. It was probably the allure of the mysterious that drew her to them, although she knew that there could be something sinister lurking in the dark unknown of their character. She had been burned by these types too many times, yet she kept being drawn to them. This was also true for Carl. She found him to be, quite literally, devilishly handsome. He had attracted her with his enigmatic comments about his work. Although Teena didn't realize at the time that this was the reason for his pull: He emanated power and danger, and before Teena knew what was going on, she was head over heels in a secret love affair with the shadow figure.  


What many didn't know was that there was also another, softer side deep inside him. During her time with him, Teena only caught glimpses of it; the hurt failed writer and the proud father. He rarely showed his humanity, but he loved his son Fox and was the one who had chosen his name, expecting his offspring to be just as cunning as he was. Of course, Bill didn't know this, thinking that _Fox_ had been entirely her idea. - Or maybe he just led her to believe that he didn't know. Despite all her secrecy, Teena had a feeling that Bill knew exactly what was going on between her and the family friend. Hiding the affair came easily to Carl, who made a living keeping secrets, and he managed to keep all his interactions with Fox brief and as formal as would be expected. However, Teena was not as good of an actress, and she was amazed that Bill never confronted her about her frequent fleeting enamored glances exchanged between her and Carl during family get-togethers.

  
  


Soon, she had realized that she was just another pawn in Carl's fiendish game of chess. She had no doubts that, at one point, Carl had had feelings for her, just like had feelings for his son. But Carl couldn't wholeheartedly love anyone without having a secret agenda. Ultimately, in his world, there was only him, and his desire to be the alpha predator. This became clear when, one day, he had asked Bill to make what Teena and Bill called in hushed voices in a covert nightly conversation before bedtime "The Decision''. Teena did not want to know all the horrifying details, and she interrupted Bill multiple times, telling him to stop. The less she knew, the less she would be involved, and the less she would have to lie and pretend to her children – and herself.

"I hate you!" she had hissed under her breath, lest that their children could hear her, when Bill was finished explaining the colonization plans and the alliance with the Colonists. - And she had meant it.

  
  


From that point on Teena harbored a profound contempt for not just Carl, but also Bill. They would never reconcile after the requests made by Carl. How could they? How could any parent choose one of their own children as a sacrifice, even if it was "for the greater good of the planet"? Teena loved both of her children dearly. Fox was exceptionally brilliant, and she could see that he had a bright future ahead of him, so she was not surprised that her husband had chosen him to be the one to be spared. Fox would help the world by making his own life, unscathed. Nonetheless, she could have never brought herself to actually make the decision, and she despised her husband for giving in to the demands to make the choice. She would have sold her soul to save her children. However, as she bitterly realized, she had already inadvertently made a deal with the devil, as soon as she entered her relationship with Carl.

  
  


Now, it had been done. Samantha had been taken. Standing in the dim living room, Fox's arms wrapped around her tightly, Teena wept, not just for herself, but for both of her children. Whenever the paralyzing thought of what was happening to Samantha popped in her head, she forcefully pushed it aside. She could not bear to think about it. Not now. Not ever.

Teena stroked the head of her sobbing son.

Despite the occasional normal sibling fight, Teena knew that Fox had a lot of brotherly affection for his sister. He was almost a teenager, and it was completely normal for him to have regularly feigned annoyance at Sam. He was a good kid with a big heart, very inquisitive, and his emerging quest for independence in the form of mild acts of rebellion did not fool her.

She knew that he was already forming guilt for the event that she could tell he would carry with him for a long long time.

  
  


When Bill and Teena had come home after their outing, their usually quiet and reserved son had run towards them shouting out in panic what had happened. Not having a number to contact his parents and unsure about whether to contact the police on his own, he had remained by himself, helpless. Bill had acted surprised and shocked, and Fox had been too distraught to notice any hint of pretense.

He had been the one entrusted with looking after his sister, so, naturally, he felt that he was the one to blame. "I told her to get out of my life," he had cried, recounting their fight just before her disappearance, as if that demand had been the cause for her abduction. He blamed himself for being frozen, instead of helping her.

Fox did not know that this was so much larger than a matter of a young boy failing to protect his sister. Teena swore to herself that he could never know this, for both of their sanity's sake. She had failed as a mother when it came to protecting her little girl. Now, she had to do her best to avoid further trauma to her only remaining child. She had to shield Fox from the nefarious politics that had led to his sister's abduction by sweeping the topic under the rug and never speaking of it again. She also had to ensure that Carl did not get his filthy claws on Fox to use him for his schemes the way he had used her. She knew that he had planned out Fox's whole life, but she was not going to let him anywhere near her son anymore. Not over her dead body!

The pain was threatening to break her. How was she supposed to find the strength for her son?

Fox took a step backwards.

“They’ll find her. I know it,” he stated, a glimmer of hope returning into his bloodshot hazel eyes.

Teena pressed his face against her chest again. She could not look him in the eye. Seeing him hopeful was almost more unbearable than seeing him in despair.

“Yes,” she murmured into his tousled hair, the first of many lies.

She could not forgive Bill for getting them involved in this.

Her shirt soaked with Fox's tears, Elizabeth Kuipers Mulder vowed to leave Bill and to never look back.


End file.
